Isabella has always had a thing for shoving her fists in to her mouth, this is nothing new. She has also always been a gooey baby, not a sick baby but one who is always soggy due to the amount that she dribbles.
However just recently she has been chomping down on things, everything goes in to her mouth and any attempts with a sippy cup are hampered by the fact that Iz likes to rub the spout along her gums rather than actually suck anything out of the cup!
I am constantly amazed by the new things that she is able to do, she is now 16 weeks old and will hold her own bottle, OK so this does need some work as she will put the bottle in her mouth and then remove it, becoming confused as to why it is no longer in her mouth she will try to rectify the situation but is inclined to miss and has ended up with the bottle hitting her cheeks, nose and narrowly avoiding her eye! She likes tummy time now and will tolerate quite a lot of it, it seems that perseverance is key here, Izzy will roll from her back to either side and has rolled from her front to her back twice in 2 weeks which although isn't a lot is better than not doing it at all! She is also sitting up without much support now and when given a spoon to play with will very nicely put it in to her mouth (the bowl bit not the handle). All this makes me think that she may be ready to think about weaning soon...however these can be signs of teething and can also be signs of just being a baby.
I sort of wish that there was a rule book for this bit!
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Sleeping Beauty vs Sleeping Monster
We have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation in our house.
My delightful daughter is a pleasure to put to bed at 8pm after her bottle. I am reading The Hobit to her at the moment (yes at eight weeks old I am reading The Hobit to her, I will start reading children's books to her soon though) so currently she will have a bath, have her bottle and then I will read to her for half an hour or so until she is asleep. This doesn't always happen, if she is tired then she will go straight to sleep after her bottle and if she has needed a bath during the day she doesn't always have one before bed. Anyway she sleeps from 8pm until 12am/1am for her midnight snack and then anywhere between 4am-6am for her first breakfast, this is all done on her terms I was setting alarms on my phone to wake me up every 4 hours but we've now decided to change it to when she wakes up for food. I don't mind getting up during the night and I can wait for her to sleep through the night but she's sleeping for longer during the night which is a good start.
So my sleeping beauty is an angel at night but during the day she turns in to a sleeping monster.
During the day Iz refuses to sleep. As in point blank will not let herself sleep. I am assuming that she finds our lives very interesting and doesn't want to miss out on anything. We have tried to keep the noise down and things but she just isn't willing to let herself go, so to speak.
We have sort of found a solution, a solution which means that she sleeps but unfortunately it will cause us problems if we continue to do this for any period of time. She seems to settle quite well if she sleeps on me, while this is nice for me in that it is very relaxing and gives me a chance to just sit and chill out for a while it is a nightmare in that I can't do anything and if I need to go out then she isn't going to go to sleep until she's screamed the place down and tired my other half and herself out. She won't sleep in her bouncy chair, pram, car seat or moses basket down stairs and so I'm starting to wonder if it is worth putting her in her cot to sleep during the day too ?
Suggestions gratefully received.
My delightful daughter is a pleasure to put to bed at 8pm after her bottle. I am reading The Hobit to her at the moment (yes at eight weeks old I am reading The Hobit to her, I will start reading children's books to her soon though) so currently she will have a bath, have her bottle and then I will read to her for half an hour or so until she is asleep. This doesn't always happen, if she is tired then she will go straight to sleep after her bottle and if she has needed a bath during the day she doesn't always have one before bed. Anyway she sleeps from 8pm until 12am/1am for her midnight snack and then anywhere between 4am-6am for her first breakfast, this is all done on her terms I was setting alarms on my phone to wake me up every 4 hours but we've now decided to change it to when she wakes up for food. I don't mind getting up during the night and I can wait for her to sleep through the night but she's sleeping for longer during the night which is a good start.
So my sleeping beauty is an angel at night but during the day she turns in to a sleeping monster.
During the day Iz refuses to sleep. As in point blank will not let herself sleep. I am assuming that she finds our lives very interesting and doesn't want to miss out on anything. We have tried to keep the noise down and things but she just isn't willing to let herself go, so to speak.
We have sort of found a solution, a solution which means that she sleeps but unfortunately it will cause us problems if we continue to do this for any period of time. She seems to settle quite well if she sleeps on me, while this is nice for me in that it is very relaxing and gives me a chance to just sit and chill out for a while it is a nightmare in that I can't do anything and if I need to go out then she isn't going to go to sleep until she's screamed the place down and tired my other half and herself out. She won't sleep in her bouncy chair, pram, car seat or moses basket down stairs and so I'm starting to wonder if it is worth putting her in her cot to sleep during the day too ?
Suggestions gratefully received.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Breastfeeding Failure
Isabella, Izzy, Iz or Bella was 8lbs 2oz at birth. I had decided as soon as I found out that I was pregnant that I would breast feed, no questions about it, I would be breastfeeding my baby would be able to do it and I would be able to do it and cope with the feeding demands of my baby.
Reality doesn't always work like that.
While I was in hospital I asked for help with breastfeeding, the help (and this has been echoed by other mothers who have been in the same hospital) that I received consisted of baby being placed on a few pillows and my breast being shoved in to the mouth of my baby. I was told that this was right and that I was doing really well. Now weight loss is expected however Iz, at six days old weighed 7lbs 4oz.
This loss of weight made me feel terrible, I was feeding her regularly, OK so night feeds weren't going too well as I was so tired that I wouldn't wake up with my alarms and needed some encouragement from Iz to get up but the rest of the time she was feeding regularly. Thankfully after this she started putting on weight but it was slow, the health visitor was quite rude about it all stating that I wasn't doing my job right as her mum to feed her. Iz started off for the first two weeks seeming satisfied by the breast after 20 minutes on one side and then around 20 minutes on the other, then suddenly at 3 weeks old she changed, she wanted to be on me constantly. We are literally talking from 12noon (sometimes earlier) until 11.30pm when I could finally get her off to bed. In the evenings she would get so angry at me and scratch me and herself, she would kick and scream and I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I had my latch checked by 9 different people, who all said that they couldn't see anything wrong, and that Iz seemed content after her feed...however they would only seem to come round in the morning, which usually was the best time for Izzy, if they were to come round later on in the day they would see how tired we both were and how stressful it was for us both.
I was advised to sleep when my baby slept but there was a problem with this, see she wouldn't sleep during the day and then wouldn't sleep very much at night. I was told that this was just because my baby was inquisitive and active- not because she was hungry, hungry all of the time because I wasn't producing enough for her. (But that is hindsight)
Because of her lack of weight gain my health visitor came round to see us more frequently than most people have, she suggested topping up with formula and so that is what we did and we were able to get a decent block of sleep for the first time in a long time! Although I still panicked when I put her in her moses basket that night, since breastfed babies have a lower risk of SIDS, I stood over her for a long time before my other half coaxed me in to bed. Even though I could see that Izzy was happier after that feed with the top up I continued to breastfeed for the majority of the time and then we started having issues in the nappy department. Iz didn't have a dirty nappy for 4 days, during this time I'd spoken to the health visitor who said anything from 10-14 days without a dirty nappy was fine. On day 4 I went to my doctor who gave me Lactulose and a suppository to give to Iz, however I was not comfortable using the suppository and so gave it a miss and used the lactulose and tried to give her water too which she hated. After 10 days without a dirty nappy I went back to the doctor who sent me straight up to the hospital- long story short they used the suppository and we had a dirty nappy, I don't think that I've been so pleased to see a dirty nappy!
The constant feeding didn't stop, I was starting to use more top ups and I tried to express to keep up my supply. While expressing I was only able to manage 2oz after an hour of trying! I had thought that this was good until she was 4 weeks and 4 days old when I met up with a friend of mine. Her little boy is 2 days younger than Isabella, Izzy and I had been to a clinic that morning and she still wasn't back at birth weight, my friends little boy had already gone way past birth weight and was a healthy chunky little boy. When I looked at Iz all I saw was a very unhealthy looking baby, something that I hadn't seen before, I suppose this was because I hadn't seen her literally next to another baby of her age, she looked tired, thin, pale and HUNGRY. I met up with my friend at around 1.30pm, Izzy was attatched to my boob from then until 4.40 when I needed to go to the toilet, even then she wasn't happy about it. She hadn't been sleeping on me either she was also following a suck, suck, suck, swallow, pause routine. My friend and her little boy would feed every 2 hours and then he would be quiet and then sleep, if I took Izzy off of my boob she would scream the place down. When we talked about expressing she stated that she could manage 4-5oz in 20 minutes, my heart sank.
After this I suppose I started giving up on breastfeeding, I didn't stop but I think that was because I was already feeling guilty about the decision that I knew I was going to have to make. On the Sunday, just two days after seeing my friend I posted about my breastfeeding problem on a forum seeking advice from other people who may have had similar experiences. What I was really asking was did people feel guilty- I hadn't even made the decision but was feeling guilty because I was contemplating what I then thought was the easy option. Someone on this forum was quite frank with me (which was what I needed) he said that we had tried, I had tried really hard but it wasn't working. Izzy wasn't getting what she needed from me, she would get what she needed from formula and lets be honest there is a solution to the problem and that is formula.
The next day when she was 5 weeks old we switched to a formula only diet for Izzy. The change in my baby was immediate, she slept during the day, she was alert and quiet, she was happy! I felt horrible. We're two weeks in now of formula only for my baby and she's gained more weight in those two weeks than she did in the first 5 weeks of her life, she sleeps during the night, she is happier and content, I am happier too. I don't feel like we're any less bonded than my friend is with her little boy. I do still feel guilt at times but it is soon washed away with the nice cuddles that Izzy and I have or the fact that we can spend time having fun and smiling at each other rather than her being on the breast constantly and me feeling rubbish and starting to resent her for being hungry.
We plan on having two children eventually and I will try and breastfeed our next baby too. However I know that next time, IF I have to make the same decision again that I will be able to look at my healthy little girl and know that I made the right decision.
Yes breast may be best but actually, for some people, it isn't possible, practical or an option. I know that I was determined to do what was best for my baby, and I have now done what is best for my baby and me. I am not lazy, I did not do this because I couldn't be bothered or that I was uncomfortable feeding in public...I made this decision for the good of my baby's health and to ensure that our relationship stayed as strong as possible. I wish that I had been informed that breastfeeding isn't easy, or that it doesn't work for everyone, I did the NHS breastfeeding class and I certainly didn't come away with the knowledge that some people find breastfeeding difficult...I came away with the opinion that everyone who has breasts will be able to breastfeed.
I would tell anyone who is considering formula feeding their baby from breastfeeding before 6 months to not feel guilty about it. The way I see it those 5 weeks that I fed my daughter for is better than not feeding her at all. I still feel guilty at times but I'm starting to think of it as more disappointment than guilt, I did not want to make this decision, I wanted to feed my daughter but I know that I have made the right decision now.
Reality doesn't always work like that.
While I was in hospital I asked for help with breastfeeding, the help (and this has been echoed by other mothers who have been in the same hospital) that I received consisted of baby being placed on a few pillows and my breast being shoved in to the mouth of my baby. I was told that this was right and that I was doing really well. Now weight loss is expected however Iz, at six days old weighed 7lbs 4oz.
This loss of weight made me feel terrible, I was feeding her regularly, OK so night feeds weren't going too well as I was so tired that I wouldn't wake up with my alarms and needed some encouragement from Iz to get up but the rest of the time she was feeding regularly. Thankfully after this she started putting on weight but it was slow, the health visitor was quite rude about it all stating that I wasn't doing my job right as her mum to feed her. Iz started off for the first two weeks seeming satisfied by the breast after 20 minutes on one side and then around 20 minutes on the other, then suddenly at 3 weeks old she changed, she wanted to be on me constantly. We are literally talking from 12noon (sometimes earlier) until 11.30pm when I could finally get her off to bed. In the evenings she would get so angry at me and scratch me and herself, she would kick and scream and I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I had my latch checked by 9 different people, who all said that they couldn't see anything wrong, and that Iz seemed content after her feed...however they would only seem to come round in the morning, which usually was the best time for Izzy, if they were to come round later on in the day they would see how tired we both were and how stressful it was for us both.
I was advised to sleep when my baby slept but there was a problem with this, see she wouldn't sleep during the day and then wouldn't sleep very much at night. I was told that this was just because my baby was inquisitive and active- not because she was hungry, hungry all of the time because I wasn't producing enough for her. (But that is hindsight)
Because of her lack of weight gain my health visitor came round to see us more frequently than most people have, she suggested topping up with formula and so that is what we did and we were able to get a decent block of sleep for the first time in a long time! Although I still panicked when I put her in her moses basket that night, since breastfed babies have a lower risk of SIDS, I stood over her for a long time before my other half coaxed me in to bed. Even though I could see that Izzy was happier after that feed with the top up I continued to breastfeed for the majority of the time and then we started having issues in the nappy department. Iz didn't have a dirty nappy for 4 days, during this time I'd spoken to the health visitor who said anything from 10-14 days without a dirty nappy was fine. On day 4 I went to my doctor who gave me Lactulose and a suppository to give to Iz, however I was not comfortable using the suppository and so gave it a miss and used the lactulose and tried to give her water too which she hated. After 10 days without a dirty nappy I went back to the doctor who sent me straight up to the hospital- long story short they used the suppository and we had a dirty nappy, I don't think that I've been so pleased to see a dirty nappy!
The constant feeding didn't stop, I was starting to use more top ups and I tried to express to keep up my supply. While expressing I was only able to manage 2oz after an hour of trying! I had thought that this was good until she was 4 weeks and 4 days old when I met up with a friend of mine. Her little boy is 2 days younger than Isabella, Izzy and I had been to a clinic that morning and she still wasn't back at birth weight, my friends little boy had already gone way past birth weight and was a healthy chunky little boy. When I looked at Iz all I saw was a very unhealthy looking baby, something that I hadn't seen before, I suppose this was because I hadn't seen her literally next to another baby of her age, she looked tired, thin, pale and HUNGRY. I met up with my friend at around 1.30pm, Izzy was attatched to my boob from then until 4.40 when I needed to go to the toilet, even then she wasn't happy about it. She hadn't been sleeping on me either she was also following a suck, suck, suck, swallow, pause routine. My friend and her little boy would feed every 2 hours and then he would be quiet and then sleep, if I took Izzy off of my boob she would scream the place down. When we talked about expressing she stated that she could manage 4-5oz in 20 minutes, my heart sank.
After this I suppose I started giving up on breastfeeding, I didn't stop but I think that was because I was already feeling guilty about the decision that I knew I was going to have to make. On the Sunday, just two days after seeing my friend I posted about my breastfeeding problem on a forum seeking advice from other people who may have had similar experiences. What I was really asking was did people feel guilty- I hadn't even made the decision but was feeling guilty because I was contemplating what I then thought was the easy option. Someone on this forum was quite frank with me (which was what I needed) he said that we had tried, I had tried really hard but it wasn't working. Izzy wasn't getting what she needed from me, she would get what she needed from formula and lets be honest there is a solution to the problem and that is formula.
The next day when she was 5 weeks old we switched to a formula only diet for Izzy. The change in my baby was immediate, she slept during the day, she was alert and quiet, she was happy! I felt horrible. We're two weeks in now of formula only for my baby and she's gained more weight in those two weeks than she did in the first 5 weeks of her life, she sleeps during the night, she is happier and content, I am happier too. I don't feel like we're any less bonded than my friend is with her little boy. I do still feel guilt at times but it is soon washed away with the nice cuddles that Izzy and I have or the fact that we can spend time having fun and smiling at each other rather than her being on the breast constantly and me feeling rubbish and starting to resent her for being hungry.
We plan on having two children eventually and I will try and breastfeed our next baby too. However I know that next time, IF I have to make the same decision again that I will be able to look at my healthy little girl and know that I made the right decision.
Yes breast may be best but actually, for some people, it isn't possible, practical or an option. I know that I was determined to do what was best for my baby, and I have now done what is best for my baby and me. I am not lazy, I did not do this because I couldn't be bothered or that I was uncomfortable feeding in public...I made this decision for the good of my baby's health and to ensure that our relationship stayed as strong as possible. I wish that I had been informed that breastfeeding isn't easy, or that it doesn't work for everyone, I did the NHS breastfeeding class and I certainly didn't come away with the knowledge that some people find breastfeeding difficult...I came away with the opinion that everyone who has breasts will be able to breastfeed.
I would tell anyone who is considering formula feeding their baby from breastfeeding before 6 months to not feel guilty about it. The way I see it those 5 weeks that I fed my daughter for is better than not feeding her at all. I still feel guilty at times but I'm starting to think of it as more disappointment than guilt, I did not want to make this decision, I wanted to feed my daughter but I know that I have made the right decision now.
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
A bit late but this one is about how Isabella arrived.
(Isabella is now 6 weeks old, but I've yet to write down about the birth so felt I needed somewhere to start and here seems a good place to begin)
My due date was 17th July 2010, I had built this day up in my head since I was told that this was my due date, surprisingly enough my due date came and went and Isabella (who is also known by a fair few nicknames, just a warning) decided that she really wasn't ready to meet us yet.
Sunday 24th July at 4am I woke up (nothing unusual for a pregnant woman) and found that I had had a show, first of all I panicked, as it was actually happening now something was actually going to happen rather than waiting for the induction. Around 20 minutes after the show I started getting mild contractions, they weren't too bad and were lasting for around 30-40 seconds and not very regular, between 4-10 minutes apart.
By 11pm the contractions were getting harder to cope with. I tried to go to sleep but the pain was getting worse and paracetamol wasn't working. At this point my contractions were every 4 minutes lasting 50 seconds. So we went to the hospital, but in the 'excitement' of going to the hospital my contractions slowed down. I felt like a right idiot going in to the labor ward and explaining that although my contractions had been every 4 minutes they had now gone. It was now 1am, my blood pressure was sky high and they told me that I was 3cms, my cervix was stretchy and my waters were bulging.
I remember watching an episode of 'One Born Every Minute' and there was a couple who were playing cards during her labor, thinking that this would take a long time we had packed some cards. I got through one hand of rummy before giving up because I could not sit still. Time seems to escape me here a bit, I remember it being 1am and then by 3am asking for gas and air because the contractions were so painful, which the midwife told me was due to Izzy turning the wrong way just slightly and so the contractions which had been in my stomach were now in my back and really painful. I had been worried about having gas and air because I hate being sick however, as it turns out I quite like gas and air, I like it quite a lot.
Again time leaves me here, I remember that I kept looking at the clock thinking about how slowly time was going but now it seems like it was gone in a flash. Anyway my poor other half didn't really know what to do and was at a bit of a loose end so I gave him the task of rubbing my back, however he wasn't allowed to stop! I feel a little sorry for him, as he was made to rub my back for around 3 hours without stopping! I also remember holding on to the bottle of the gas just because it was cold. Who knows why we do the things we do while in labor, the other half was very nearly hit in the groin because he dared to giggle at my groans.
At 7am I was examined and told that I was 10cms! I hadn't expected it to be this quick really, although I don't know what I had really expected. This is when the gas and air was taken away from me because it was time to break my waters and then push. I had read on various websites and from various blogs and birth stories on forums that once your waters break that the contractions become stronger and more painful, so when the midwife told me to push and break my waters I became very scared. This was the first time that I remember being scared and I burst in to tears, I didn't want more pain I just wanted it to be over now. Iz had meconium in her waters and actually despite how scared I was it was more important to get her out, not be scared about a little bit more pain. I was pushing for 27 minutes, I don't remember feeling contractions at this point and it felt like I was just pushing because I wanted to push not due to a contraction.
At 7.55 Isabella Edith entered the world screaming to announce herself. I had been told that I would need an epidural, that I would need a c-section due to having a high BMI. I had 6 hours of active labor, and 27 minutes pushing with 2 tablets of codine, 2 of paracetamol and a hell of a lot of gas and air. I was determined that I would not need the intervention that they predicted and I was so happy that none of it was needed. I had a couple of stitches, this bit upset me as someone said that they would do it and once she had finished announced that she needed her mentor to check it, the mentor came in and then said that she needed to do it again, and it felt like a lot more than a couple of stitches the second time round.
I had to stay in for 24 hours due to a ridiculously high blood pressure and Izzy had to stay in due to her meconium in her waters. I wasn't able to sleep well in the hospital as they had to keep checking Izzy's temperature which would wake her up, then they would leave and I would have to try and get her to sleep without really knowing how to. After 24 hours I was pretty much demanding to be allowed home and so although they don't tend to let people go before 3pm I was allowed out at 1pm to take my little girl home.
I'm sure that I have missed loads of bits, but none of it is really important- only that I have a lovely healthy baby.
My due date was 17th July 2010, I had built this day up in my head since I was told that this was my due date, surprisingly enough my due date came and went and Isabella (who is also known by a fair few nicknames, just a warning) decided that she really wasn't ready to meet us yet.
Sunday 24th July at 4am I woke up (nothing unusual for a pregnant woman) and found that I had had a show, first of all I panicked, as it was actually happening now something was actually going to happen rather than waiting for the induction. Around 20 minutes after the show I started getting mild contractions, they weren't too bad and were lasting for around 30-40 seconds and not very regular, between 4-10 minutes apart.
By 11pm the contractions were getting harder to cope with. I tried to go to sleep but the pain was getting worse and paracetamol wasn't working. At this point my contractions were every 4 minutes lasting 50 seconds. So we went to the hospital, but in the 'excitement' of going to the hospital my contractions slowed down. I felt like a right idiot going in to the labor ward and explaining that although my contractions had been every 4 minutes they had now gone. It was now 1am, my blood pressure was sky high and they told me that I was 3cms, my cervix was stretchy and my waters were bulging.
I remember watching an episode of 'One Born Every Minute' and there was a couple who were playing cards during her labor, thinking that this would take a long time we had packed some cards. I got through one hand of rummy before giving up because I could not sit still. Time seems to escape me here a bit, I remember it being 1am and then by 3am asking for gas and air because the contractions were so painful, which the midwife told me was due to Izzy turning the wrong way just slightly and so the contractions which had been in my stomach were now in my back and really painful. I had been worried about having gas and air because I hate being sick however, as it turns out I quite like gas and air, I like it quite a lot.
Again time leaves me here, I remember that I kept looking at the clock thinking about how slowly time was going but now it seems like it was gone in a flash. Anyway my poor other half didn't really know what to do and was at a bit of a loose end so I gave him the task of rubbing my back, however he wasn't allowed to stop! I feel a little sorry for him, as he was made to rub my back for around 3 hours without stopping! I also remember holding on to the bottle of the gas just because it was cold. Who knows why we do the things we do while in labor, the other half was very nearly hit in the groin because he dared to giggle at my groans.
At 7am I was examined and told that I was 10cms! I hadn't expected it to be this quick really, although I don't know what I had really expected. This is when the gas and air was taken away from me because it was time to break my waters and then push. I had read on various websites and from various blogs and birth stories on forums that once your waters break that the contractions become stronger and more painful, so when the midwife told me to push and break my waters I became very scared. This was the first time that I remember being scared and I burst in to tears, I didn't want more pain I just wanted it to be over now. Iz had meconium in her waters and actually despite how scared I was it was more important to get her out, not be scared about a little bit more pain. I was pushing for 27 minutes, I don't remember feeling contractions at this point and it felt like I was just pushing because I wanted to push not due to a contraction.
At 7.55 Isabella Edith entered the world screaming to announce herself. I had been told that I would need an epidural, that I would need a c-section due to having a high BMI. I had 6 hours of active labor, and 27 minutes pushing with 2 tablets of codine, 2 of paracetamol and a hell of a lot of gas and air. I was determined that I would not need the intervention that they predicted and I was so happy that none of it was needed. I had a couple of stitches, this bit upset me as someone said that they would do it and once she had finished announced that she needed her mentor to check it, the mentor came in and then said that she needed to do it again, and it felt like a lot more than a couple of stitches the second time round.
I had to stay in for 24 hours due to a ridiculously high blood pressure and Izzy had to stay in due to her meconium in her waters. I wasn't able to sleep well in the hospital as they had to keep checking Izzy's temperature which would wake her up, then they would leave and I would have to try and get her to sleep without really knowing how to. After 24 hours I was pretty much demanding to be allowed home and so although they don't tend to let people go before 3pm I was allowed out at 1pm to take my little girl home.
I'm sure that I have missed loads of bits, but none of it is really important- only that I have a lovely healthy baby.
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